I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
