I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
