this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
