Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
