at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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