Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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