I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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