He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize