found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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