the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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