Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
