ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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