Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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