Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
