So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
