Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
