Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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