It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You work out of a Hotel?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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