i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
