Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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