dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
