is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
