Just mADE A PArabola og urine
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
