need another drink. this is the easiest way
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize