Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
