The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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