I miss vodka workout Fridays
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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