Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
