i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
