he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
