i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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