Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
