First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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