It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
