no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
