whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize