he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
