Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
did you just send me my own nude
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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