3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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