just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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