your room smells of hookers.
And success
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
