lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
