Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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