Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
