so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
