He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The feeling are messing with the penis
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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