just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
