Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
