So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
