apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
