Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
