so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
