Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
