im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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