Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
