Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
