I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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