I need help removing her.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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