You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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