he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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