i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
