I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
