new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
