I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize