at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
