and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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