I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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