no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I need to align my fucking chakras
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