I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
