I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
