LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
