what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
