if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
