nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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