I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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