i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
is it fun? or sober?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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