'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
