...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I believe in your delicious
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
