she was so not down for the gang bang
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i out mim tonsoeep
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